Which couple sleeping position best describes your relationship?
What Your Sleep Position Reveals About Your Relationship
Updated on Jun. 10, 2025
You sleep back-to-back and far apart
Although sleeping with your back to your partner and space between you might not seem too romantic, one study found it’s the most common of all couple sleeping positions, likely because it’s practical. Twenty-seven percent of the couples surveyed identified this position as their primary one. Corrine Sweet, the relationship psychologist who carried out the study, says the position shows that couples are connected and secure. “This position shows both closeness and independence in the relationship,” she says.
You love to spoon
When it comes to couple sleeping positions, this one’s a classic. In Sweet’s study, 18% of couples said they spooned when they snoozed. She says the position demonstrates a dynamic where one partner is protective over the other.
But beware the spoon position turning into a chase: If your partner has retreated toward one side of the bed and you’ve gone to follow him or her, something could be amiss (this is not to be confused with the “loose spoon,” which tends to occur as a couple’s relationship matures).
You sleep back-to-back and touching
Signs of love aren’t always grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s when you touch butts while you sleep. Sweet’s study found back-to-back with butts touching to be the second most popular of the couple sleeping positions. So what does it mean? “Both partners are relaxed and comfortable with one another—this is often common in new relationships,” says Sweet.
You start the night intertwined, then move apart
Couples who sleep in this position tend to start the night with their arms and legs intertwined while facing each other and move apart after about 10 minutes. “It’s a compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds,” says Sweet. Her study found that 8% of couples sleep like this.
One person dominates the bed
Not all couple sleeping positions signal good news. If you wake up in the middle of the night cowering in the corner while your significant other starfishes across the bed, there could be a power struggle at play. “One partner dominates the space, while the other takes a secondary role,” Sweet says.
You sleep with your head on your partner’s chest
We can all learn something from couples in the “honeymoon phase.” This sweet sleep position is common in new relationships and even rekindled relationships, says Sweet. Only 4% of couples sleep like this.
You spend the entire night intertwined
Yes, there is such a thing as being too clingy, and it’s typically a major warning sign for relationships. If you spend the entire night clung together (arms and legs intertwined and facing each other), it could indicate you and your partner lack independence from one another and feel the need to hold on tight.
You face each other but don’t touch
Sleeping with your face toward your partner (and theirs toward you) could indicate an emotionally demanding relationship. “This position shows a need for intimacy and close communication,” says Sweet. Even in your sleep, you and your partner are begging each other for more. If you put in the effort, you’ll start seeing improvements sooner than you’d think.
FAQs
What are the benefits of sleeping with a partner?
Sharing a bed with someone you love isn’t just romantic—it’s healthy. Doing so prompts your body to release oxytocin, the love hormone that promotes feelings of safety and trust. In addition to playing cupid, oxytocin has been linked to lower blood pressure, a slower heart rate and better sleep.
If your mind tends to race at bedtime, a good couple sleeping position to try is spooning. Since cuddling boosts oxytocin and helps you feel calmer, it may help you fall asleep faster than counting sheep ever could.
What are the challenges of sleeping with a partner?
If you thought a blanket hog was the worst thing to come from sharing a bed, think again. Perhaps your partner tosses and turns all night or snores like a freight train. Both can seriously disrupt your sleep and may even point to more serious issues, like restless legs syndrome or sleep apnea.
In addition to making you grumpy, sleep challenges pose serious risks to your health. Research has found that poor sleep quality can increase the risk of several chronic health issues, such as heart disease, depression and obesity.
How to improve sleep with your partner?
Bad sleep doesn’t have to be the norm. There are plenty of tips and tools that make bedtime a dream again. In addition to the classic couple sleeping positions, consider investing in a high-quality mattress. Opt for one that provides the right level of firmness for each partner to feel comfortable and supported.
From there, sleep aids make all the difference. Think earplugs to muffle snoring, or an eye mask for blocking out light from a night owl’s phone. Most important, communicate about your sleep needs. Sleep is vital to feeling your best, so have an open discussion about what each of you needs to feel truly rested.
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Sources:
- Live Science: “‘Love hormone’ oxytocin may be missing link between sleep apnea and high blood pressure”
- Harvard Health Publishing: “Oxytocin: The love hormone”
- Yale School of Medicine: “Poor Sleep May Increase Markers of Poor Brain Health, New Study Finds”
