Read the money-saving secrets funeral directors from across the country aren't taking to the grave with these insider tips for planning a funeral.
22 Things a Funeral Director Won’t Tell You
Don’t pay in advance
Go ahead and plan your funeral, but think twice before paying in advance. You risk losing everything if the funeral home goes out of business. Instead, keep your money in a pay-on-death account at your bank.
Discharged veterans get special treatment
If you or your spouse is an honorably discharged veteran, burial is free at a Veterans Affairs National Cemetery with available space. This includes the grave, opening and closing, headstone, marker or medallion, Presidential Memorial Certificates and a burial flag. Many State Veterans Cemeteries also offer free burial for veterans and, often, spouses.
Walmart and Costco sell caskets too
One of the things funeral directors won’t tell you is that you can save money by buying a casket online from Walmart, Costco or straight from a manufacturer. It will be just as nice as the ones in a funeral home showroom and cost thousands of dollars less.
There are less expensive, environmentally friendly casket options
If you’re on a budget or concerned about the environment, consider a rental casket. The body stays inside the casket in a thick cardboard container, which is then removed for burial or cremation.
Embalming isn’t always necessary
Running a funeral home without a refrigerated holding room is like running a restaurant without a walk-in cooler. But many funeral homes don’t offer a cooler because they want you to pay for the more costly option: embalming. Most bodies can be presented very nicely without it if you have the viewing within a few days of death, though body decomposition does vary by person.
Be wary of these phrases
Some hard-sell phrases to listen for: “Given your position in the community,” “I’m sure you want what’s best for your mother” and “Your mother had excellent taste. When she made arrangements for Aunt Nellie, this is what she chose.” These can be signs of upselling, when a funeral director tries to get you to pay for higher-priced but unnecessary upgrades and services.
Skip the rubber gasket
“Protective” caskets with a rubber gasket? They don’t stop decomposition. In fact, the moisture and gases they trap inside have caused caskets to explode.
Low-cost caskets are probably available
If there’s no low-cost casket in the display room, ask to see one anyway. Some funeral homes place lower-cost caskets out of sight, like in a basement or storage room.
How the ashes are returned is important
Ask the crematory to return the ashes in a plain metal or plastic container—not one stamped “temporary container,” which makes you have to buy another container. You are allowed to provide your own container, just make sure to ask about the volume of ashes and size of the urn.
Explore other options
Shop around. Prices at funeral homes vary wildly, with direct cremation costing $500 at one funeral home and $3,000 down the street. (Federal law requires that prices be provided over the phone.)
Does your loved one have a pacemaker?
A funeral director should ask you before cremation whether your loved one had a pacemaker, as the devices can explode and damage the crematories.
Ask for the details on the package deals
If someone is trying to sell you a package that will “save you money,” always ask for the individual price list anyway. Packages can include services you don’t want or need.
Mortician or funeral director?
While the terms funeral director, undertaker and mortician are often used interchangeably, they can have different roles, so it’s good to know who is doing what for your loved one, as funeral directors have their own set of golden rules.
Urns aren’t the only place ashes can go
Sure, you can store ashes in an urn or scatter them somewhere special, but nowadays you can also have them crushed into a real diamond, integrated into an underwater coral reef or blasted into space. These options are things funeral directors won’t tell you, but should.
Another way to save money
It’s usually less expensive if the body is not present for the funeral.
There’s no need to go out and buy a new outfit for your loved one
If the deceased’s favorite outfit is a size too small or a size too big, bring it in anyway. Funeral homes can often work with clothing to make it look good and present nicely.
They need recent photos
If a photograph of the deceased is needed to help prepare the body, it’s best to provide a recent, beloved photo rather than one from decades ago.
Don’t ask us to remove fillings or crowns
That may be real gold in your loved one’s dental fillings or crowns, but you’ll need a licensed dentist to remove them, should you wish.
They probably don’t have great intentions if they say this phrase
Never trust a funeral director who says, “This is the last thing you can do for your loved one.”
A meaningful service doesn’t need to be expensive
You don’t have to spend loads of money to have a meaningful service. Communal celebrations of life or an intimate ceremony at a favorite park or beach can be as poignant and impactful as a formal funeral.
Bring someone with you
Always bring another person when making arrangements, ideally someone who’s not emotionally attached to the deceased, so they can help navigate the difficult details, from the announcements to the viewing.
Find out who owns the funeral home
It might be wise to check out just who owns your local funeral home. Corporate chains have bought out hundreds of family-owned funeral homes in recent years, but they often keep the original name, appearance and even some employees. The one thing they usually do change? The prices. Stay informed so you can be prepared when the times comes.
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Sources:
- National Funeral Directors Association: “Statistics”
- U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs: “National Cemetery Administration”
Originally Published in Reader's Digest
